One of the memories he shares involves learning how to go to a corner store and return home unaided he finds the experience overwhelming, but recognizes the value in challenging himself. He becomes better versed in his own strengths, weaknesses, triggers, and coping mechanisms.
Part 3, “Rising,” turns slowly toward its more hopeful conclusion as Haig begins a process of self-discovery. He begins accumulating knowledge to try and understand mental illness better. He shares his complex relationship with the passage of time, which became unbearable during his depressive episodes. He shares childhood memories and ruminations on society’s view of depression, stating that most of what is known about depression is characterized by what is unknown. Part 2, “Landing,” briefly explores Haig’s adjustment to experiencing depression and anxiety. Throughout the central narrative are statistical and medical facts about depression, mental illness, and Haig’s description of his symptoms. His father joins him and encourages him to be strong. One day, Haig is left alone in his parents’ room and begins to cry. He and Andrea stay with them while Haig recovers. On his way home to England, Haig meets his parents and worries he has disappointed them. He finds moderate success with sleeping tablets but develops a fear of mind-altering substances. The medication has an adverse “reverse placebo” effect, where Haig feels the medication has done more harm than good and which heightens his anxiety. However, he feels he can’t leave his loved ones behind, and so turns back to rejoin his girlfriend, Andrea.Īndrea insists he go to a hospital, where he is prescribed medication for his depression. The thought of dying is terrifying, but the potential to keep feeling intense pain is worse. He decides to jump off a cliff and die by suicide. He experiences a depressive episode and doesn’t understand what is happening to him. Part 1, “Falling,” begins with Haig’s mental health crisis in Ibiza, Spain, at the age of 24. Reasons to Stay Alive follows Haig’s personal mental health journey in five parts: “Falling,” “Landing,” “Rising,” “Living,” and “Being.” This study guide is written using the 2016 paperback edition from Canongate Books.Ĭontent Warning: Reasons to Stay Alive includes graphic descriptions of mental illness and thoughts of suicide, which this guide refers to.
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